Echoing What’s Important To You

If you find yourself staring at your tea label during your date, you know it’s time to panic.

Ahem. Girls, get the cocktail dresses ready. Guys, if you have to wear Armani suits, go ahead. But always remember, words can be well played upon and one faux pas from your lips spells disaster. So, when going out on a first date, beware, and remember not to say these:

#10: You stink!

Fine, your dear shounen/shoujo may end up smelling like a skunk after his share of Parmesan cheese; or they may have reeked that bad when you met them but please, keep your harshness to yourself. And bear with it just for one night.

#9: You pay!

Going out on a dinner doesn’t necessarily mean the other always has to pay. You could either share the payment; if your date volunteers to pay, fine; or you could even pay the waiter yourself, and give him a good tip. Don’t expect your date to be your automatic teller machine.

#8: This is my brother. He is a Karate Shihan and will be our chaperone for tonight.

A date, mes amis, a D-A-T-E, is meant to be between you and your date; why get a chaperone for it? And besides… you would not want to end up being punched by that Karate Shihan at the end of it all.

#7: Why are you obsessed with nothing but football?

Guys will be guys, and many of them are footie fans. Don’t be surprised or disappointed if nine out of ten people watch the English Premier League; and when they get together, they talk about it endlessly. And after the English Premier League, there’ll be the Champions League, the Ligue 1, the Premiera Liga, the Serie A, the Euro tourney, the World Cup… and even if you have an enhancement of sorts, the only cup in these people’s minds will be the World Cup, and not your cup size. So just zip it for now, okay?

#6: I’ve got a bad case of indigestion.

Oh no. Immediately after the meal comes the indigestion problem! This isn’t on. The poor bloke/babe will be embarrassed to take you out for another meal together.

#5: I’m bored.

I bet I don’t need to explain this.

#4: You’ve got a huge zit!

Ahem. We are already having stress over our skin. We know we have huge zits on our faces, so much so that taking them out with a zit extractor is pretty much like being in a torture chamber. So, why the need to point it out?

#3: I should not be here.

Aiyoyo, what’s the point of a date if you feel you should not be here-lah?

#2: Aiyo. Now is English Premier League.

Good grief, here we go again. You sacrificed this day for a date with someone you’re getting to know and love; why think of the English Premier League? Oh, can’t those guys just catch the news in the paper? Surely they’d put in a few of Frank Lampard’s or even Ruud van Nistelrooy’s fancy flying kicks.

#1: I’m bored.

Honestly, I really don’t think I need to explain this.