Hey baby, wanna make babies?
Do you know that the latest news in Hollywood is not Angelina Jolie’s babies, but rather of Jamie Lynn Spears, sister of the ever famous Britney Spears. She’s only 17 and followed her sister’s footsteps as a singer/actress and has recently become a mom herself. Almost everyone has read that news. But have you read this one: Students Made Pregnancy Pacts?
Are you shocked?
You shouldn’t be.
The latest ‘baby-bump’ theme in America recently seems to be ‘babies making babies’. Apparently, it is not unusual that a teen girl gets pregnant and married BEFORE their high school graduation.
It’s like a throwback to the last century. Remember the days when your grandmother used to tell you about how they were married off at a young age of, I don’t know, 14 years? Back then, if a young wife is able to conceive right after the wedding, she was deemed as a dutiful wife. Kudos to her! However that is not the case anymore today, is it? We have since evolved into independent women, who are free from our ‘responsibilities’ to give birth to as many sons as humanly possible for our husbands. Marriage comes after our careers. No?
Alright. I am digressing a bit. I don’t intend on writing about gender inequalities; I want to write about having unplanned pregnancies.
Both the (in)famous Spears sisters seem to have glorified the idea of getting pregnant at an early age. Many years ago, while many were not happy with Britney Spears’ decision to start a family at a young age, she was, on the other hand, commented by Pro-Life for it, as it was rare for celebrities of her age to have a child . And now, many are having split opinions about her sister following in her footsteps (hopefully that excludes career breakdown and divorce). A lot of people have come to think that Jamie Lynn Spears should be condemned for having a baby while she is still one herself. Positive words, however, came from other teen moms. They said that she took a mature and brave decision to keep the baby, unlike many other who might have chosen an abortion instead.
I can’t help but to think, ‘Yes, but will it work in the end? Should she (and other teen moms) have chosen abortions?’
I’m not being a cold murderess here. Yes, it is unethical to have abortion, to kill an unborn. But I think it is worse to give birth to a baby when you’re not ready for it. A lot of teenagers (that includes Malaysian girls) get pregnant by accident. A lot of them get married because of that single reason and I think this is more common in the Asian countries than in the West. A lot of those marriages, also, do not end well. And who suffers the most? The child.
I’m not saying that this happens to all the teen moms; I’m merely giving the more probable possibility here. After all, how many ‘happy endings’ have you witnessed or read about? Not many. Sad as it it might be, we have to remember that life is not a fairy tale. We do not live in the world of Gilmore Girls, the TV series that showcased the life of Rory Gilmore, who despite being born by her mother at 16, grew up to be smart and responsible. We may also be not as lucky as Holly Marie Combs (her mother had her when she was 16 as well) who practically grew up with her mother but still managed a successful acting career and is now a happy mom with a loving husband.
So, ignoring the big question of whether or not you should have sex in the first place, I think I’ll include the options to AVOID pregnancies in this article. After all, if you’re going to do ‘it’, you should at least make sure that it is safe.
1) Condoms. This is the most common type of contraception. It is also quite effective in preventing STDs. If your man isn’t willing to cough up the money to buy condoms, then give him a firm ‘NO’. Alternatively, there are also female condoms (not sure if this is available in Malaysia) but it is less effective and less comfortable compared to male condoms. Oh, just get him to buy Durex!
2) Birth control pills. Popularly known as The Pill, the hormones in the pills work to prevent ovulation. It also thickens the mucus around the cervix, which makes it difficult for sperms to enter the uterus to reach any eggs that may have been released. Hormones in the Pill can also sometimes affect the lining of the uterus, making it difficult for an egg to attach to the wall of the uterus.
3) Withdrawal method. This means he should pull out of the vagina before ejaculation. It is a very dangerous method and is highly discouraged, because he might not be able to pull out in time. Also, pre-cums, which he might not have noticed, can also result in pregnancies.
4) Plan B. Okay, so you had unprotected intercourse and suddenly you’re worried that you might get knocked up. Plan B, or the morning-after pill, will work as the emergency birth control. It’s called the morning-after pill because you have to take it immediately after the intercourse, or within 72 hours after sex. It pretty much works like The Pill. Please take note that the morning-after pill is NOT the same as the abortion pill; the former prevents pregnancy while the latter terminates.
5) Sterilizations. Vasectomy for men, tubal ligation for women. This has a permanent effect and anyone who undergoes this operation will not be able to conceive again. (ED: This is usually done for older men and women)
There are also other contraceptive methods available: cervical caps, diaphragms, contraceptive patch, intrauterine device (IUD), and spermicides. Read about them here, here and here.
This might seem a little bit provocative for some people, and might even spark some religious issues. I am not wholly against teenagers to be married and to have babies at a young age; some of them are actually ready, financially and mentally, for a child. I applaud them for that. But for the rest who think that sex has no consequences and that having babies will make them liked and loved like the Spears sisters, well, think again, kiddo.
Oh, and no, I am also NOT encouraging you to have pre-marital sex. I just know that a lot of us are too stubborn to listen to any of the oh-don’t-do-it-because-it’s-this-and-that advice. If you are sexually active, I assume that you already know what you’re doing. If you’re doing it because ‘everyone is doing it’, then well, you have no place doing it at all. I mean, if you aren’t strong enough to handle peer pressure, what makes you think you can handle the consequences of premarital sex?
July 5th, 2008 at 5:25 pm (#)
I think the key to solving unwanted pregnancies for those who chose to go ahead w premarital sex is precaution and safe sex.. and this article is very informative in its explanation.
Most youths actually lack AWARENESS. I feel that the gov can do something about the situation apart from campaigns, etc. (because that’ll reach only a limited amount of people).
THIS is why sex education should be made compulsory in schools (i.e. Msia), no?
July 5th, 2008 at 5:56 pm (#)
If I’m not mistaken, sex education has already been implemented, no kah? Unfortuntely, I dont think they are very useful. I seem to have a vague memory on a certain ’sex ed’ I had back in school, but it was a one-time thing, like a seminar. And they tell us things we already learn in bio class, so no one really paid attention. I hope things are better now..
Any students around here who care to give comments on this?
July 6th, 2008 at 12:48 am (#)
I dont think that counts as ’sex ed’. Because as you said, it’s only a one time seminar thing, like campaigns we see around - exhibition, etc.
Compulsory sex ed is something which is incorporated in textbooks and syllabus (bio doesn’t count cos not everyone takes science stream), maybe it can be included in subjects like PJ or further explained in detail under Science.
And yes, those who are still in school, what do you guys think?
=)
July 6th, 2008 at 3:28 am (#)
I’d just left school last year and I think sex ed should do them some good. I remember, even in a nominal cluster school like mine, there have been cases of people lamenting about losing their virginity etc., etc., etc. before Form 3; I reckon that there should be a more thorough form of sex ed. Because most people don’t focus on PJK very much (unless of course, the teacher is interesting), it should be explained in detail under Science. Keep the reproduction part in Biology.
After all, teens today aren’t the “lock and key” kids of two to three decades ago.
July 6th, 2008 at 4:26 am (#)
Honestly, I feel this whole sex topic in Asian countries being downplayed alot! Parents tend to avoid the topic like as if it’s some taboo thing to talk about!
But sex is only natural and one should educate their kids on what’s it all about. With education comes knowledge, with knowledge comes thinking, with thinking comes right decisions.
Oh, if you take a look at the sex ed syllabus in the states.. it very scientific and dry. But informative. However, that’s the class that people skip the most. It’s incorporated under “GYM”
July 6th, 2008 at 9:39 am (#)
Yeap. Sex is natural and is something we would do in our life at least once, but have you all realised how sex is being made to seem ‘wrong’? If a movie has suggestive sex scenes (not porn, without nudity, but suggest that sex is happening), then it is likely to be deemed as a ‘bad movie’. At least for our kids. But the same does not go with movies that has killing scenes. As long as it’s not gory and bloody and all, scenes with people shooting down another person is not so uncommon and is quite accepted.
But killing is not natural, no matter how fake the scenes are. so why is one taboo, but the other normal?
Just a thought =]
July 6th, 2008 at 3:30 pm (#)
iris, very good point on the killing vs sex connotation in films.
perhaps someone wants to write something on this? it would be very interesting. i’d love to see what you guys think. =)
July 7th, 2008 at 6:26 am (#)
“sex is only natural and one should educate their kids on what’s it all about. With education comes knowledge, with knowledge comes thinking, with thinking comes right decisions”
Jasmine’s right.
Without knowledge, there’s no right desicions.
But pre-marital sex’s becoming very very normal these days…
& teachers in school do not like explaining “it”
which I find very very annoying, we, girls especially need more knowledge, so we can sorta be aware of all these.
Anyways, do you guys know underage sex can cause 99.99% of cervical cancer? Woot woot.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:02 am (#)
hmmmm……as for me, pre-marital sex can be avoided if everybody cherish the value of sex itself….it is a very intimate relationship between man and woman and are very special and pure…sex can make new life, and life itself is very pure in nature and cannot be exploited no matter how….we must protect the sacredness of sex by get married first then. . . !this also explains why we cannot judge people blindly or discriminate because of ‘the life’ itself and ‘the life’ is created by the Almighty hand…why we have to ‘kotorkan’ the pureness of God by abusing life????we are the image of our religion, so we must educate through religion….religion gives wisdom to human thinking….
July 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm (#)
oh saperez. as much as i agree with you, i also dont agree with you (what irony, haha). particularly the religion part, but that’s just me speaking from a non-religious point. education is what keeps us apart, not religion. i personally dont give a damn if you wanna have sex, married or no, as long as you keep it in your bedroom and harm no one. i doubt it was religion who started this no-sex-before-marriage thing anyway. what IS marriage? a legal document? an oath? Adam and Eve did not get marry. they were not religious. they were incestuous. we keep condemning people because they didnt live the way you expected them to live, and worse we keep using the word religion to condemn them. if it’s really about religion, then we should all shut up. none of us are god.
gosh, im so sorry if i offended anyway. i get really frustrated talking about religion.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:43 pm (#)
I think western culture has influence us a lot especially when it comes to sex. We see so much of it on tv but never actually got to know it - so we check it out at the different sources i.e friends, porn and etc - until its too late i.e unwanted pregnancies. We also talk about sex ed which the government is still undecided about implementing it in school which to me is pretty important since all the teens these days think sex is cool. However, we youth too haven’t been really proactive about it. If you check out sex ed on the internet, there’s so many websites for teens to check out regarding this but I’ve not come across a website from Malaysia for Malaysian teens. So, if a group of youths would come out with a website for this, I think it would be a plus for every one as it will help those youngsters, if not a lot than a little, which i think would make a lot of difference.